Domestic Violence

• If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has an exit. Also, avoid the bathroom, kitchen, or a place near weapons.
• Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best.
• Pack a bag and keep it hidden but accessible to leave quickly.
• Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask they they call the police if they hear a disturbance.
• Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
• Plan where you will go, even if you don’t think you will need to.
• Use your instincts and judgement. If the situation is dangerous, consider giving the abuser what they want to calm them down. You have the right to protect yourself.
• Always remember – You do not deserve to be hurt or threatened.

• Call the Domestic Violence Center and make a safety plan.
• Determine who you might be able to stay with or who might lend you money.
• Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important papers, and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
• Keep a cell phone ( the DV Center can give you a 911 cell phone ) or phone card handy with the DV Center number for emergencies.
• Review your safety plan often. Remember – Leaving is the most dangerous time.

What You Need To Take When You Leave:

• Identification ( Driver’s License, Passport, Green Card, Social Security CardBirth Certificates, or Work Permit ).
• Money/Checkbook/Debit or Credit Cards.
• House Deed, Lease, or Rental Agreement.
• Home/Medical Insurance Papers.
• Medications.
• Cell Phone & Charger.
• Address Book.
• Medical & School Records.
• Divorce Papers.
• Personal Items (Jewelry, Change of Clothing, Toiletries).
• Toy or Pillow for Child’s Comfort.

• Discuss a safety plan with your children.
• Tell your neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you, and they should call the police if they see him near your home.
• Inform your child’s daycare or school, etc., about who has permission to pick up your children.
• Change locks, codes, etc., and buy additional safety devices.

• Keep your protective order/IFP with you at all times. When you change bags, the IFP should be the first thing in.
• Call the police if the batterer violates the order.
• Have a safety plan for the time until police arrive.
• Tell family, friends, and neighbors that you have a protective order/IFP in effect.

• Decide who at work you will tell about your situation. Inform all security persons about the protective order/IFP and provide a picture of the batterer.
• Have someone screen your calls. Save harassing voice mails.
• Have a safety plan for leaving work.
• Leave with others.
• Vary your route home.
• Keep your cell phone handy and charged.

• If you are thinking of returning to an abusive situation, discuss it with someone you trust or call a DV Center Hotline.
• If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.
• Let others help you. Recognize your strengths.
• Read and get information to help yourself feel strong. Go to an ADV support group for at least 2 weeks.
• Talk to someone you trust.

• Decide which friend, teacher, relative, or police officer you can tell.
• Contact an advocate at court to decide how to obtain a Protective Order/IFP and make a safety plan.